Is Your School Choice Based on Data or Personality?
Second Level Thinking · Issue 27
Examining the co-educational vs. single-gender debate. Inside: why we struggle to decide and how to use probabilistic thinking to manage the unknown.
Disclaimer: today’s conversation is about children’s education, mainly the decision point between co-education and single-gender schools for a child. I understand we are not all parents or guardians, but we all did receive some form of education, somewhere, and I would love you to read on and share your thoughts.
As a parent in the developed world there is rarely a more contentious topic than the choice of education for our kids, with a recent study detailing the time taken to form a decision only second to that of choosing a house, with estimated inputs totalling over 11 days in time. This is no small feat, and for those beyond this milestone and still deliberating, I commend you.
We all want our kids to do well. Even those without kids want kids to do well. They are the future, they are the youthful energy that will carry us forward. We all want them to be internally driven, to possess high levels of resilience and agency, and to strive to live fulfilling lives, however they choose to define them, advancing humanity in the process.
Enter secondary education. Enter puberty. Enter monumental psychological and physiological change. Enter the transition into teenager and through to young adult. There is a theory that we only have our kids until the age of 12 as parents. “Have” in this context, means to have them listen, communicate openly and be influenced by us. Or more bluntly, still give a shit. Following this point, friends, peers, coaches, teachers, and others have a greater impact on their development and in shaping the humans they become. This is no surprise; as adults many of us spend more time with our co-workers than our family, and the same is true for our kids, who spend more time at school and engaging in extra curricular activities than present at home with us.
Given these factors and add to that the competitiveness of adult life that awaits, and you can start to see why school selection for our children requires some thought. One specific decision point is the debate between co-educational and single-gender schools. A debate that has been widely studied, and where research presents mixed findings, often depending on the context, methodology, and factors considered (e.g., academic achievement, social development, confidence, and future career prospects).
A Brief Summary of Findings
Academic Performance
Single-gender schools: Some studies suggest that girls perform better in Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths (STEM) subjects in all-girls schools, potentially due to fewer gender stereotypes and increased confidence. Boys in single-gender schools may also perform better in literacy and language subjects, areas where they typically struggle in co-educational settings. Some meta-analyses show slightly better test scores in single-gender environments, but the effect size is often small.
Co-educational schools: Other studies find no significant academic advantage for single-gender schools after controlling for socioeconomic background and selection bias. Co-ed schools may provide more balanced skill development, as students engage in diverse perspectives and competition with both genders.
Social and Emotional Development
Single-gender schools: May provide a more comfortable environment for students to express themselves without fear of gender-based judgment. However, some research suggests they might lack social preparation for real-world interactions where both genders work together.
Co-educational schools: Promote better socialisation skills, preparing students for mixed-gender work environments. Some studies indicate co-ed settings may help reduce gender stereotypes through daily interactions. However, issues like gender biases in teacher expectations and classroom dynamics may persist.
Confidence & Participation
Girls in single-gender schools: More likely to take leadership roles and engage in male-dominated subjects. Some evidence suggests higher self-esteem compared to girls in co-ed schools.
Boys in single-gender schools: Some studies indicate improved discipline and focus in all-boys schools. Others suggest boys may benefit from co-ed environments in terms of learning to interact more respectfully with girls.
Belief, Bias and the Vibe
Private school parents are a mixed bag and for every wealthy family buying their child an education, there will be scores of parents working feverishly to pay for what they deem as the best education for their child. They will scrimp and save, go into debt, forgo any number of consumables to secure the future of their son or daughter.
Last fortnight I wrote: “once a belief is lodged it becomes difficult to dislodge. It takes on a life of its own, leading us to notice and seek out evidence that further confirms it, ignoring the contrary.”
Reflecting on this in relation to education; if no clear conclusion can be drawn from the research, why are opinions so divided? Confirmation bias, perhaps. Let’s assume for a moment that we don’t want to blindly confirm our beliefs and fall prey to confirmation bias, what else can we do.
Take a moment to answer the following:
When you share your feelings about co-ed versus single-gender education, are you articulating a belief based on a lived experience?
When you communicate your feelings about a specific school, are you judging it on its collective results, including social development of children, or an outlier student, or hearsay?
The reason for those questions, is too often we fail to consider what is best for the child in question, and are using outlier samples of performance to judge a complete cohort, which may or may not include a lived experience by a parent. We then use small snippets of information from our peers to reaffirm our beliefs. This is an example of where our personal experiences and social status can prevent us from taking acceptable risk for our children, where they will most likely thrive given the opportunity. We are keeping them in our comfort zone and aligned to our social status.
Furthermore, most of us are simply looking for a vibe whether we accept it or not. We want the school in question to “feel good” and to “feel right.” No-one mentions the academic performance of the school because results are generally comparable amongst the higher end, as is exposure to other curriculum, such as sport and overall facilities.
So, that’s it! It's just the vibe of the school coupled with what our peers think, sprinkled with some lived experience of being a teenager many moons ago. Well sort of, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Do They Help Raise Good Humans?
Essentially, all we want to know is, do they help raise good humans. Academics are only a single component of school and “the problems of the ATAR system are multifarious,” writes Greg Craven. He continues:
“An ATAR corresponds more closely to a student’s postcode than capacity. It contains impenetrable algorithms and scaling mechanisms. The overwhelming desire for a higher score discourages students from studying hard subjects such as higher mathematics and sciences, and has led to the virtual demise of languages other than English. Real humanities and true social sciences, such as history and geography, have gone the same way. Beyond this, the ATAR obviously cannot measure vital human attributes such as ethics, problem solving and relationship skills. Little wonder virtually all universities use the ATAR as only one element in the selection process. We have paid a high price for a limited arithmetical label of student success.”
Let’s look at a more holistic approach in which we can judge and expand our “raising good humans” phrase then: The real prize of education - that is what a school turns out as its finished human product - is what sort of human being does it produce? Are they nice or nasty, ethical or ruthless, honest or deceptive? Are they good-mannered and respectful to those below them, as well as those above them?
The only way we can understand this is through speaking to people attending and teaching at the school, or those who have recently departed it and conduct character assessments.
I have toured several private schools across Victoria and Queensland recently and I have been amazed at the quality of the individuals. At both co-ed and single-gender schools the calibre of students and teachers has been exceptional across the board, and the confidence of the teenagers has genuinely surprised me. I encourage everyone considering these options to do the same, it leaves you with some profound insights:
A teenage girl who attended a co-ed primary school with her older brother said that she wasn’t her “older brother’s little sister” at the single-gender secondary school she attended, and that her current school allowed her to be “herself.” She exhibited more self-confidence and also noted how much quieter it was without the boys there to study.
This was further cemented when I went to one of the all-boy schools, it was so loud in the hallways throughout the change of class. Notably louder and with much more banter.
Another girl said her and her friends felt more comfortable in their appearances and they didn’t “fuss” as much without boys around.
An all-girls school I visited still had a compulsory sewing class for Year 7 & 8.
Another had two groups of ad-hoc students who didn’t know the school values after the Admission’s Director had talked extensively about them and they were posted in the corridor hall behind where we were talking.
Some schools protect you from ad-hoc students, or classes in session, whilst others allow you to walk right in and speak with a science teacher giving a class!
A staff member had her children at a local state school where they have coined the phrase “don’t be a sweat.” Which translates to “don’t be a try hard.” She said the culture was that it was more cool to ‘coast’ than apply yourself. Something she felt wasn’t the case at the grammar school she worked, she just simply could afford the fees to move her children.
And just on fees, for anyone thinking about relocating interstate, Melbourne based schools are about ~$10k per year, per student, more expensive than the benchmark Brisbane equivalent, as a general rule.
It’s a healthy reminder, they are businesses and you are a customer. As much as we want to “feel good,” it is simply an ability to make term-by-term payments.
As a result of these exuberant fees, I expected agility and greater adoption of technology into the curriculum, including A.I., with more focus being placed on critical thinking. But I didn’t get an overwhelming feeling this was the case. Yes, their digital classes were stacked with iMacs but given the strict adherence to ATAR or IB, variance in curriculum is limited. In fact, one Head of Middle School told us that the basics of handwriting and use of written exams would be in place for several years to come, which I found staggering. I thought some of these entities would be on the precipice of pushing these types of boundaries and trialing new ways. Or maybe it is the case and I just didn’t see it.
It isn’t just classes from 9-3, it’s a lifestyle. These kids are immersed in the grounds from sunrise to sundown with many offering weekend options for study, full functioning cafeterias morning and night, and a smorgasbord of extra curricular activities for kids to try new things.
All talked about student wellbeing, in particular off campus programs in the critical Year 9. This is not a surprise, we have talked about suicide statistics previously and they are horrendous. I have included them again below:
According to the Australian Institute of Health & Welfare, 94 deaths by suicide occurred among children and adolescents (aged 17 and below) with the majority occurring in those aged 15–17 in 2023, down on the previous 3 years through the peak of covid in Australia. Bullying is a serious issue and teenagers can act in terrible ways. Puberty is such a critical transition for our bodies and mind and we are only recently, with new studies, appreciating the psychological shifts that occur during this time.
Where That Leaves Us
I’ll refrain from digressing further and leave you with the following:
If the goal is academic performance, the benefits of single-gender education are modest and often context-dependent.
If the goal is social and emotional development, co-educational environments tend to provide better preparation for real-world interactions.
For STEM and confidence-building among girls, single-gender schools may offer advantages.
Overall, no one model is definitively superior, and factors like school quality, teaching methods, and student support will likely play a bigger role in educational outcomes than gender composition alone.
Remember, your kids are not you. Like a Year 7 Coordinator told me, “you choose your primary school for your family and your secondary school for your child,” so put your bias aside and reflect on what will best help your child shine.
As parents we are all observing what interests our kids and what subjects or activities bring them joy. Think about how their personalities translate into a school of interest. Are you trying to jam a square peg into a round hole?
Do your due diligence, do not go by hearsay and get busy. I could have written another several newsletters worth of insights from each individual school. And the schools themselves recommend you go to more than one campus tour or open day, so get moving.
It goes without saying that you can’t know you’ll dislike or like something in the moment a decision is being made, especially when it relates to children, but that’s how we feel. Accept that there are things you know and things you don’t know and control the controllable. It’s not definitive, or absolute. If a child needs to move from a school, move them. Don’t let hindsight bias prevent you from making a more courageous decision. And remember:
The reason the decision is hard is because you are deciding between two inseparable things and because both choices have trade-offs that make them hard to separate in terms of expected value. We often agonise over decisions when the outcome is uncertain, but in reality, if two options are nearly equal, then either choice is reasonable. The challenge is not about finding the "right" answer but accepting that uncertainty makes perfect decisions impossible.
More on Decision Making
For those seeking further information on decision making, go back through these two issues where we have covered the topic specifically:
Parting Shot
Probabilistic Thinking | Mental Model
“Probabilistic thinking is the art of navigating uncertainty. Successfully thinking in shades of probability means roughly identifying what matters, coming up with a sense of the odds, checking our assumptions, and then deciding.
The challenge of probabilistic thinking is that it requires constant updating. As new information emerges, the probabilities change. What seemed likely yesterday may seem unlikely today. This explains why probabilistic thinkers always revise their beliefs with new data and why it's uncomfortable for many people.
It's much easier to believe something false is true than to deal with the fact that it might not be true. Being a probabilistic thinker means being willing to say, "I don't know for sure, but based on the evidence, I think there's a 63 percent chance of X."
The rewards of probabilistic thinking are immense. By embracing uncertainty, we can make better decisions, avoid the pitfalls of overconfidence, and navigate complex situations with greater skill and flexibility. We can be more open-minded, more receptive to new ideas, and more resilient in the face of change.”
— Shane Parrish
